A surprise take to control the immigration and housing issues in the Algarve, the regional government has adjusted the entry & stay criteria for people travelling to the Algarve for either tourism or residence purposes.
Some have speculated that this ban impacts a particular demographic – hippies.
To be clear – we love visitors and encourage them to come to the Algarve. However, we must make sufficient measures to ensure the quality of the foreigners match the economic goals of the region. We have outlined strict criteria on which we will accept visitors.
– Vasco de Gama – Inventor of Immigration
Among qualifying metrics are:
- Held a recognised job within last 6 months.
- Income threshold minimum of 1,000 eur/month (double if from Germanic or Anglo-speaking nation).
- Proof of accommodation which is not a vehicle.
- Hair no longer than 90cm in length.
- Documented instance of which the person consumed Chouriço, Robalo, or Porco Preto within 6 months.
- Promised ownership and user of soap and other bathing products.
While the new proposed laws are strict, many locals view this as reasonable adjustment to make in order to retain Portuguese Heritage & Identity.
What we need is TPM – Traditional Portuguese Medicine. Our country is at risk due to the erosion of TPM and other traditional values, and rapidly being replaced by people who won’t eat our food or smell very bad in the beach parking lots. There is simply no place for us fishermen to park anymore!!
-João Gilberto
Additional bans are set to take place involving the prohibition of the following:
- Ceremonious drinking of hot chocolate
- References to plant-based food
- Industrial techno music
- Mispronunciation of local common greetings
- Very alternative medicine
Skeptics of these new policies are calling out the Big Chouriço industry, noting that profits are down 30% over the last 5 years and their sponsorship of this new campaign aims to improve ratio of their target market in the region.
As the Algarve continues to prosper and struggle from the influx from foreign nationals, the correct moves in order to shape a vibrant and healthy future are necessary.
What are your thoughts on a policy like this?
Note: This article is a handwritten viral satire piece for April Fools with some artificially-generated images. This does not reflect the actions of any government body.